I thought I’d repay your kindness and forbearance these last couple of weeks with a classic rendition of how to make an omelet. Now, I know you’ve seen it a hundred times on the internet, but if you’re still not turning out silky soft eggs, read on. If after following this technique you are still turning out rubbery frisbees, come over and we’ll do it together.

Rule #1: Omelets are not brown. Anywhere.

Rule #2: The heat on the stove does not rise above medium. Ever.

Rule #3: The whole process takes four minutes.

Rule #4: Fresh eggs, butter, salt. That’s it. Leave the other stuff for after you master the technique.

Master the technique? C’mon, it’s only an egg, you say. Well, culinary lore has it that there are one hundred pleats in a chef’s toque corresponding to the number of ways to prepare an egg. Now, August Escoffier has 143 egg recipes, so I’m not sure where the number 100 came from, but feel free to add into the comments your research.

Mise En Place

Butter, eggs. You’ll use a pinch of salt too, but it’s not worth it to mention. I use a fish turner as a spatula.

Dice The Butter

No, this isn’t some snotty step used to annoy you. You are going to put half the diced butter into the pan over medium/low heat, and half into the bowl with the eggs. Season the eggs at this point:

Divide the Butter

Stir the eggs lightly with a fork. Do not incorporate too much air into the eggs; you don’t want froth. Once the butter is melted, coat the bottom of the pan:

Coat the Pan

There’s barely any thickness to the butter. The heat is also on low enough so that the butter isn’t going to brown.

Pour the Egg

Pour the eggs into the pan. See, there are no large bubbles in the egg, and it starts to thicken around the edges.

Set the Egg

Gently stir the eggs around. Don’t scratch the pan. Keep things moving in the pan until about half the eggs are set. Run the unset eggs into the holes in the omelet. The butter cubes, as they melt, keep the eggs moist.

Flip the Omelet

Slide the omelet to the back of the pan. Back is where the wall is. Front is where you’re standing. Not the angle of the pan from the shadow – the pan is at about a 30 degree angle, and the omelet is just at the edge of the pan. Yes, it’s true that this pan’s lip angle is better for flipping/sauteing, but you can do this in a straight-sided pan; just angle the pan higher. With the egg on the edge of the pan, give a quick saute jump to fold the edge of the omelet 1/3 into the center of the omelet, and then do it one more time to complete the omelet roll:

This takes less than ten seconds. I kept taking pictures, so my second flip was a bit too far, but all of that can be corrected on the plate. Some techniques call to blast the heat in the final ten seconds. This is unnecessary, as the carryover heat will cook the egg thoroughly.

Shape The Omelet

The white spots in the egg are just unincorporated albumen, a result more of my moving too quickly with a camera for the post. It took four minutes from fire to plate. Don’t put the pan back on the fire if you’re making more than one, make sure the pan stays low to medium. The egg will be soft, and you will not need your teeth to chew it. Use your tongue to melt it against your palette so that it slides into your throat. The only thing that comes close is poached eggs, but that’s another post.

Once you can do this six times in a row without variation, you’ll know what you’re doing, and what you did wrong when it comes out badly.

Note: Don’t eat more than three eggs a day. They’re healthy for you, but they also have cholesterol in them, since they come from an animal. Your body will eliminate unused cholesterol, but there’s no need to max out your daily cholesterol intake either.

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